What did our parents do when they were bored with no internet?
I asked my 18 brothers and sisters, and they didn’t know either.
May 01
Stay Humble
It doesn’t matter how big your house is, how much money you have, or that you wear expensive clothes. Our graves will all be the same size.
Stay humble.
Jun 15
Irish Birth Control
Mrs.Donovan was walking down O’Connell Street in Dublin
when she met up with Father Flaherty.
The Father said, ‘Top o’ the mornin’ To ye!
Aren’t ye Mrs. Donovan and didn’t I marry ye
and yer Hoosband two years ago?’
She replied, ‘Aye, that ye did, Father.’
The Father asked, ‘And be there
Any wee little ones yet?’
She replied, ‘No, not yet, Father.’
The Father said, ‘Well now, I’m going to Rome next week and I’ll light a fertility candle for ye And yer hoosband.’
She replied, ‘Oh, thank ye, Father…’
They then parted ways..
Some years later they met again.
The Father asked, ‘Well now,
Mrs. Donovan, how are ye these days?’
She replied, ‘Oh, very well, Father!’
The Father asked, ‘And tell me ,
Have ye any wee ones yet?’
She replied, ‘Oh yes, Father!
Two sets of twins and six singles,
Ten in all!’
The Father said, ‘That’s wonderful!
And how is yer loving hoosband doing?’
She replied, He’s not home now, ‘E’s gone to Rome
to blow out yer fookin’ candle.’
Jun 15
Two women were sitting next to each other at a bar.
Two women were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a while one looks at the other and says, ‘I can’t help but think, from listening to you, that you’re from Ireland .
The other woman responds proudly, ‘Yes, I sure am!’
The first one says, ‘So am I! And where about in Ireland are ya from ?
The other woman answers, ‘I’m from St. John’s , I am.’
The first one responds, ‘So, am I!! And what street did you live on?’
The other woman says, ‘A lovely little area it was in the west end. I lived on Warbury Street in the old central part of town.’
The first one says, ‘Faith and it’s a small world. So did I! So did I! And what school did ya go to?’
The other woman answers, ‘Well now, I went to Holy Heart of Mary, of course.’
The first one gets really excited and says, ‘And so did I. Tell me, what year did you graduate?’
The other woman answers, ‘Well, now, let’s see. I graduated in 1964.’
The first woman exclaims, ‘The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us ! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same pub tonight. Can you believe it, I graduated from Holy Heart of Mary in 1964 me self.
About this time, Michael walks into the bar, sits down and orders a beer.
Brian, the bartender, walks over to Michael, shaking his head and mutters, ‘It’s going to be a long night tonight.’
Michael asks, ‘ Why do you say that, Brian?’
Brian answers, ‘The Murphy twins are drunk again..’